GraceWorks

Moving around

Hi everyone,

It's been awhile since I wrote anything here as you can tell.  I'm now using http://graceplays.blogspot.com/ for a gardening blog and http://stilwellreflections.blogspot.com/ for the heavier side of things.  See you there!

Mother's Day 2008

5/12/2008 6:52 AM

The end of Mother’s Day 2008;  I crawl into bed after a very quiet day and contemplate my life.  The three beautiful women who call me mother are all mothers themselves now.  It is beautiful to observe although not from the distance that happens to exist between us.  Many times I long for their presence in closer proximity.  Even she who is closest feels too far away at times.  Yet, it was our choice to move here when she graduated.  I often ponder that fact and wonder. 

I fell in love with the mountains the first time I laid eyes on them in 1977.  In 1997, my dream of living there began coming true.  In 2005, we moved here permanently.  Like any dream, the details were left out.  The long stretches of road separating me from our daughters was something I simply never considered.   Typical of someone who envisions something without exploring all the possible outcomes.  Somewhere in my mind, I saw them all coming with us. 

It’s interesting to me that the distance has actually served to strengthen the bond we have.  Our together time takes on a sense of celebration that might not happen otherwise as its human nature to take each other for granted.  It has allowed, even forced, everyone to develop their own lives, including a circle of friends that goes beyond immediate family, painful as that may be at times.  The notion of family is one of those themes which invites contemplation and redefining.  I often ask myself what it means to be family which leads to some very interesting observations about what family is and more importantly, what family is not.  It has also led me to realize that those who fulfill the role of family in my life aren’t necessarily those hanging from my family tree. 

I love being a mom although, I confess, there are a lot of things I would do differently if given the chance. I am amazed and astonished at how well adjusted my daughters have turned out to be and what incredible mothers they are given the role model they grew up with.  That is the most wondrous thing about it.  Seeing them “get” what a treasure their children are.  As for me, I took it way for granted.  Being one of twelve children reinforced the idea that kids were a “dime a dozen” and subsequently not given the time and attention each deserved.  My largest regrets live in that closet!

My youngest daughter turned 30 this year.  My own mother turned 81.  That alone boggles my mind.  I look at them and am reminded of where I’ve been and where I am going.  I can’t change one of those but I can the other and I intend to do so.

As many have said before me, the best thing about being a mother is that if you’re lucky, you will know the wonder of being a grandmother—a topic so rich it requires its own posting!   

Where did the year go?

I could scarcely believe it when I realized it has been over a year since I’ve written anything!

On a personal level, it’s been an amazing year for our family.

This is Katie who was born in October, 2006, and is now 10 months old.

Here is Lola who turned a year old in January, 2007 and is now 18 months old.

This is Victoria who was born in March, 2007 and is now five months old.

Laney turned six and starts first grade on Tuesday! Mikey turned four in May. Both of them learned to ride their bike without training wheels over the summer.

We all took a trip to Wisconsin in June to join my eleven siblings and their families in celebrating my mother’s 80th birthday. It’s been a rich and exciting time for Grandma Kathy and Papa Tom. I was humming with joy the whole time we were together as I watched our three daughters each with their own children. Overwhelming joy.

On a spiritual level, life has been equally fruitful. The books that have touched me are numerous and I want to mention them because they play such an important role in my inner journey.

God is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens was a deeply provocative read; well researched and brilliantly written. I would be satisfied with one small fraction of his writing ability.
Infidel by Avaan Hirsi Ali opened my eyes to the Muslim world in an entirely new way. I have tremendous admiration for its author.
Death of the Mythic God by Jim Marian was like a refreshing drink of water for my soul, in particular, the second half which opened up a new perspective for viewing the whole issue of “God”. It prompted me to read Andrew Harvey’s Sun at Midnight which was a powerful lesson in trusting your own inner wisdom.
Power Versus Force by David Hawkins was an introduction to a scientific method for looking at consciousness as was Kosmic Consciousness by Ken Wilber.

Currently, I am working with Seena B. Frost’s SoulCollage which was recommended by my Spiritual Director, Stephanie Visokay. This process builds upon the concept of Hokemah’s table from Neil Douglas Klotz’s The Hidden Gospel. It is a very powerful method for accessing your own inner world. I’m very excited about it and grateful to Stephanie for introducing me.

I am also grateful for my garden which has been the source of enormous enjoyment for me throughout this past year. It has nourished and nurtured me and given me much inspiration. Even the “weeds” have been fruitful!

What's next?

I'm back again!  Sorry it's been so long.  Life has been full and rich and eventful.  I am going to start writing here more often.  There are some themes I want to pursue and welcome your responses. 

The first theme is conflict resolution and how we can shift the focus of our world toward cooperation and mutual respect rather than division and domination.  Love is a more powerful energy than fear and/or hatred. 

Many of us are frustrated and feeling helpless about what is happening in this world and, in particular, what our government is doing to foster an atmosphere of fear and violence rather than promoting understanding and mutual respect. 

I heard a wonderful answer to the question, "what can I do?"  I can focus on what is right about myself and the world around me.  I can move toward love and understanding from the inside out.  It can happen.  It is happening.  Hope is alive. 

Recommendations

It's been awhile since I've written.  Working on my long overdue degree has taken a good bit of my time. 

I have had the opportunity to listen to several books on tape that have been very interesting. 

Ken Wilber's Kosmic Consciousness--I didn't think I was going to like this at first but I found myself paying more and more attention as I listened.  I like his Integral Approach.  "Everyone has a piece of the truth" was one statement that really sticks with me. 

Pema Chodren's Getting Unstuck--This hit me right in the gut!  She discusses learning how to "sit with the itch" rather than scratching ourselves to death.  She refers to Shenpa, a term that goes along with Arny Mindell's "flirts". 

Carolyn Myss's Invisible Acts of Power--Here again, I wasn't sure I'd like it.  Her voice bothers me for some reason, but this material is compelling!  She is reporting on her invitation to her readers to share their experiences of generosity with her.  She assigns different kinds of generosity to the chakras which I found very creative. 

Would love to hear your response to any of these! 

Happy New Year.

For the Animals

For the Animals

Crucial Conversations

This book/audio has some valuable information and suggestions about how to conduct productive dialogue, especially in tense situations.  I found it extremely helpful and recommend it highly. 

Encounter with an Owl

It was an amazing encounter!  On Friday, I was walking in the woods, as usual.  As usual, my mind was full of "chatter".  When I realized this, I brought myself into the present moment and opened up to the world around me and the experience I was having.  I asked for a message from Spirit.  A little while later, I saw a large movement out of the corner of my eye in the woods near the road.  As I drew closer, I saw an owl sitting on a branch!  We made eye contact and she flew away. In all the times I've walked that path, I've never once laid eyes on an owl.

The next day, the valley was covered in a heavy mist.  Whenever this happens, I'm reminded of how close the unseen world is.  It fascinates me.  I grabbed my camera as I often do and headed out.  I wanted to mark the spot where I saw the owl with an altar of rocks.  I wondered if there was any chance I'd see her again.  As I drew close to the spot, I saw the same large movement again.  I could not believe my good fortune.  As I rounded the bend in the road, I saw her.  She sat on a limb right next to the road!  I held my breath in wonder and awe.  I slowly laid the rocks down and squatted there gazing at her.  She moved her head around in a way that reminded me of a spider monkey and emitted a sound I've never heard before.  She moved to another branch, all the while watching every movement in the forest, but she did not fly away.  I asked her if I could take a picture and told her I'd understand if she flew away.  She did not.  She just sat there watching me.  It was beyond incredible.  After some time, I began to feel as though I was overstaying my welcome.  After all, this is her home and I'm the visitor and I've intruded on her space.  I thanked her wordlessly and returned the way I came, marveling with every step at the extravagance of such a gift. 

The Laughing Jesus

It's been awhile.  I'm on a break between classes and want to catch up. 

The Laughing Jesus was recommended to me by Frank MacEowen, M.A. (www.solasdana.org/).  The authors, Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy have done a great job of explaining what lies behind the divisions we're experiencing in this world today, in particular, regarding religion.  I wholeheartedly agree with them that Literalism is the major issue, no matter which religion we're referring to. 

Religion and spirituality and all things "of the soul" carry such power.  Whether we respond to this power consciously or unconsciously, we respond.  When we allow others to manage and direct our soul power, we are not free.  This book is about being free.  It's about taking our own power back and living a life that is full and rich and real.  It can definitely lead you to a more meaningful life.

Steaming Prayers

This coffee cup has been with me for many years.  It has traveled with me from Florida to Georgia and now resides with me here in North Carolina.  Each morning, I get up, sit in the hushed anticipation of the day ahead and drink from it.  The steam that rises is my prayer and my thanksgiving to the Creator...it floats upward, swirls around, disappears yet remains present as it cycles its way throughout the universe.  It brings to mind the line from Psalm 141.  "Let my prayer rise like incense before you." It pleases me to reflect on this.  It pleases me to recollect the many times this steam has been my unspoken prayer.